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Divine Openings: Things are going great in my Absence - Update 4

I've been posting less often lately.  It has been more and more apparent to me that this is due to continued consequences of the Divine Openings.   I'm still taking my time finishing the book.   Yes... I've had it for almost 6 months and I still haven't finished it.  I read a little at a time. My wife has not only finished the book multiple times, but she's started doing online follow-up courses that Lola Jones offers.  

Ironically, the problem with my posting is that things are going well.  My birthday was mid-April and I have a yearly tradition of looking at my life and asking myself if I'm happy with its direction or if I need a course correction.  I can happily say that I'm happier with my life this year than I was last and the one before that and so on...   I have been aligning with my higher goals more clearly each time.   Financially the last two years were negative seeming as my income dropped a LOT, but my expenditures dropped even more.   I've been net positive going from a rat race leading deeper into debt where I was harming relationships, toward a healthier financial existence.   However, from the outside I still look broke.

While I'm happier with myself and my life than I have been, I ended up asking myself if I'm someone people would want to come to for advice.  I weigh 300lbs, don't make much money and lack obvious successes that people can look at to say... "I want to do what this guy does, I want to be like him."  Additionally I started asking myself what my purposes for this blog are.   I was originally intending to follow in the footsteps of a blogger "Steve Pavlina" who turned his blog into a 6 digit a month income source.  I still would like to turn this blog into an income source, but I started realizing that the biggest value to me at the moment is a pressure to accountability.   I feel that writing this blog holds me accountable to become someone that people want to emulate.   It presses me to make losing weight a priority. It pressures me to ensure I'm fiscally powerful in the ways I claim to want to be.  Finally, it drives me to study and practice magic the way I practice technology.  I enjoy theoretical science, but I LOVE applied science and technology.  I have spent a lot of time with magick theory, but this blog presses me to turn my theory into obvious power.   Calling the blog "Power before Wisdom" denotes that I am teaching people how to use magick to empower their lives.  I kinda need to be able to show that I'm verifiably powerful in order to be an information source someone can trust.

This recognition had me asking myself a lot about how I do things.  A lot of April and May were spent choosing where to focus my current metaphysical studies in order to show apparent magickal power that can improve ones day to day power.  Binding spirits doesn't do a hell of a lot of good if you only use the bound spirits to engage in some drama-fest with other mages.  Casting Spells with the results being your car only breaking down once a year instead of once a month doesn't do a hell of a lot of good if you still don't have the money to fix it that one time it does.

My emotional state fluxuated a lot through this process... looking back it was like I was going through my emotional house and deep cleaning a couple areas to make space for a new work area.   Suddenly in late May something snapped and a couple simple choices and mindsets just dropped into place.   I just suddenly accepted it was time to open a new business focused on webdesign.  After my business failed 2 years ago I told myself I was only doing computer work and webdesign as a job until I could "make it" in a new industry.   My "new industry" varied between "sustainability" and metaphysics.   This blog was one of the attempts to step into the industry of Metaphysics.   

In late May I made the commitment to do Webdesign full time with a focus on doing it fully committed.   In the past I had a difficult time getting myself on task and accomplishing work.  It was like I was always needing to beat myself with the "or else" stick.  "I gotta finish the site today or else I won't get paid."   "I gotta make this change in the next 2 hours or else I'll lose this customer."  The biggest change in late May was that my emotional baseline shifted from boredom up to acceptance.   I suddenly didn't need to beat myself with the "or else" stick.  I just do what needs doing.   I'm confident that the universe would have made this happen somehow eventually, but for me I strongly feel that the Divine Openings is how it happened here.   I didn't do a ton of work to make this happen.   I didn't take classes, build hardcore new habits or go on hardcore initiatory experiences.   I just opened up, recognized what I wanted, and felt my way through everything as is explained in the book.

Two weeks after "the decision" I've picked up 4 new clients, completed 3 websites and have 3 pending clients.  One of the happy clients is waiting for me to put together a "how to successfully leverage a website for your business" class for business owners to teach alongside a course they do every couple months.  There is a very good likelihood that this will result in many new clients.  Additionally, my other projects have bounded forward.  
  • I have a better vision of how I'm going to move forward with this site
  • I have a part time project building sustainability related products that are too big to ship for local sales
  • My card game is moving forward in a way it hasn't since I realized how fundamentally flawed my original vision for it was.   My card game has been a multi-thousand hour project which could potentially be worth millions if it completes and gets to market, but I had an unrealistic vision for it before.  When I realized the flaws in the vision I stopped working on it, but part of this "end of May" transition was finding a new vision and restarting work to complete it and bring it to market.
  • I've been exercising at least 45 minutes almost daily, my diet has been improving and I'm losing weight.

In magick we tend to look for the impressive shows of power, but sometimes the most powerful magick are the "small" changes with long term effects.  The most powerful change that I can report now is a confidence that my commitments mean something.  That I'll be able to come back in 2 months and say... these changes stuck and here is how my life is better.  This change was away from something that had me stuck in a grey area for a couple years now.  Thank you Universe.  Thank you Lola. Thank you Higher Self.

Things are going great in my Absence: How to let go and let the Divine do the Heavy Lifting Update 3

Things are going great in my Absence:  How to let go and let the Divine do the Heavy Lifting Update 3
I had an interesting series of consequences after my 3rd through 5th openings.  I didn’t have any fireworks; however, if you remember the “OMG so much happening” tone of the second post, it was like all of a sudden I took the parking break off of my life.  The coolest part is that rarely was I actually “trying” to make things happen.  For almost a month I hovered around in a haze of peace where I was just supremely confident that everything was going to work out.  I’d do what flow said and it worked.  Opportunities were showing up, as much work as I wanted to do for clients appeared a couple relationship issues appeared and just “moved through.”
Part of what was really interesting was that even though Misty had already pounded through the whole book I ended up reaching a point where it just felt right to wait.   So for almost 60 days I waited.  I loved my life and how things were going.  I had a couple old situations rise to be dealt with that I had hidden from myself.
Finally about a week ago I suddenly felt ready for #6.   #6 just flowed and I returned to my life.  The next day I had another issue that I’ve been dealing with on-again, off-again over the years, just surface from nowhere and I knew it was time to read and do #7.  What shocked me was how much the text before the opening fit my exact situation.  I remember sitting down in front of the computer trying to hide the tears of relief from my friends in the other room at what I was reading.
One of the coolest parts of this book is how she writes.  She doesn’t take this high and mighty ego trip on you, rather her tone is like an old friend reminding you about truths you know, but forgot.  Multiple times the friend reminder is the perfect tone as, if you’re open to it, you WILL end up crying and feeling vulnerable as you read this book.   As you can guess from the name, “Divine Openings,” if you’re doing this, you are going to “open up” to feel things you didn’t feel (or even WANT to feel) before.  Some of those things are painful and some of them are wonderful.  It is very clear that in order to feel the wonderful you need to open up to feel the painful and release it.  Think of yourself as a large stream of universal consciousness.  At some point you probably closed yourself off from some unpleasant things.  Someone insulted you and you closed yourself from having to keep feeling the hurt.
Unfortunately, this closing had a consequence.  It made it harder for your stream of consciousness to flow.  To get more consciousness your stream had to flow around the block.
Now think of manifesting as asking someone upstream to please send something downstream.  Depending on how that thing you asked for is shaped, it might get caught on that block that you created when you closed off the pain.  Now imagine you had a lot of these blocks with stuff caught at them and all of a sudden you went out and started opening up the blocks.  Needless to say a lot of stuff gets sent downstream!
I may be making this sound complex and challenging.  In truth it really isn’t.
- Step one: Divine Opening
- Step two: Feel… imagine working out your emotions the way you workout muscles.  Some of what you feel will be in your everyday life, some of what you feel will be from the past.  I’ve noted a pattern of feeling emotionally RAW a LOT.
- Step three: Wash, Rinse, Repeat – The divine openings seem like a burst of consciousness in the stream.  Kind of like opening up the Nitro in the car you’re driving.  Maybe you were moving, maybe you were stuck.  By giving you the kick in the pants you’re probably moving BETTER now though.
I mentioned living in this haze of peace and trust where I trusted everything would be all right earlier right?  Well I realized the other day that the feeling of peace and trust hasn’t gone away.  If anything it has increased.  The difference is that it seems less like a haze.  It was like I had set boundaries on my life that were illusory and the illusions started fading.  The haze was this halfway point where I was seeing the real boundaries in my life and the illusory ones at the same time!
Ironically, I’ve been at what she calls the “resting zone.” I’ve been relaxed, content or even bored.  Interestingly, at this point of the book, this is kind of expected…  I’ll detail with my next update. :-)
Scott

I had an interesting series of consequences after my 3rd through 5th openings.  I didn’t have any fireworks; however, if you remember the “OMG so much happening” tone of the second post, it was like all of a sudden I took the parking break off of my life.  The coolest part is that rarely was I actually “trying” to make things happen.  For almost a month I hovered around in a haze of peace where I was just supremely confident that everything was going to work out.  I’d do what flow said and it worked.  Opportunities were showing up, I had as much work as I wanted to do for clients appeared and a couple relationship issues appeared and just “moved through.”

Part of what was really interesting was that even though Misty had already pounded through the whole book I ended up reaching a point where it just felt right to wait.   So for almost 60 days I waited.  I loved my life and how things were going.  I had a couple old situations rise to be dealt with that I had hidden from myself. Unfortunately these were big enough and personal enough that I'm still not ready to share them here.

Finally about a week ago I suddenly felt ready for #6.   #6 just flowed and I returned to my life.  The next day I had another issue that I’ve been dealing with on-again, off-again over the years, just surface from nowhere and I knew it was time to read and do #7.  What shocked me was how much the text before the opening fit my exact situation.  I remember sitting down in front of the computer trying to hide the tears of relief at what I was reading from my friends in the other room.  

One of the coolest parts of this book is how she writes.  She doesn’t take this high and mighty ego trip on you, rather her tone is like an old friend reminding you about truths you know, but forgot.  Multiple times the friend reminder is the perfect tone as, if you’re open to it, you WILL end up crying and feeling vulnerable as you read this book.   As you can guess from the name, “Divine Openings,” if you’re doing this, you are going to “open up” to feel things you didn’t feel (or even WANT to feel) before.  Some of those things are painful and some of them are wonderful.  It is very clear that in order to feel the wonderful you need to open up to feel the painful and release it.  Think of yourself as a large stream of universal consciousness.  At some point you probably closed yourself off from some unpleasant things.  Someone/Something hurt you and you closed yourself from having to keep feeling the hurt.

Unfortunately, this closing had a consequence.  It made it harder for your stream of consciousness to flow.  To get more consciousness your stream had to flow around the block.

Now think of manifesting as asking someone upstream to please send something downstream.  Depending on how that thing you asked for is shaped, it might get caught on that block that you created when you closed off the pain.  Now imagine you had a lot of these blocks with stuff caught at them and all of a sudden you went out and started opening up the blocks.  Needless to say a lot of stuff shows up downstream!

I may be making this sound complex and challenging.  In truth it really isn’t.

  1. Step one: Divine Opening
  2. Step two: Feel… imagine working out your emotions the way you workout muscles.  Some of what you feel will be in your everyday life, some of what you feel will be from the past.  I’ve noted a pattern of feeling emotionally RAW a LOT.
  3.  Step three: Wash, Rinse, Repeat – The divine openings seem like a burst of consciousness in the stream.  Kind of like opening up the Nitro in the car you’re driving.  Maybe you were moving, maybe you were stuck.  By giving you the kick in the pants you’re probably moving BETTER now though.

I mentioned living in this haze of peace and trust where I trusted everything would be all right earlier right?  Well, I realized the other day that the feeling of peace and trust hasn’t gone away.  If anything it has increased.  The difference is that it seems less like a haze.  It was like I had set boundaries on my life that were illusory and the illusions started fading.  The haze was this halfway point where I was seeing the real boundaries in my life and the illusory ones at the same time!   

Ironically, I’ve been at what she calls the “resting zone.” I’ve been relaxed, content or even bored.  Interestingly, at this point of the book, this is kind of expected…  I’ll detail with my next update. :-)

Power Before Wisdom

Things are Going Great in my Absence update 2

Yesterday I had a lot of work to accomplish and I decided to focus on it.  Webdesign work went smoothly, as did setting up the referral program for Things are Going Great in my Absence.  I had a simple joy as I was working on the web work.  I ended up having to learn a whole lot more about Joomla and start playing with PHP code to deal with one of the issues.  Rather than frustrating me it was fun.

About 3pm I decided to go ahead and do picture two.  Even though she warns it's better to wait a week between images, I felt like I could handle it due to the amount of magic and trance possession work we've done.  Stupid reasons aside, I felt like I should.    So I took a look at the image, this one of a Buddah and opened myself up to groking it like the first one (I'd already read the chapter the day prior).  I remember going to lie down and thinking, "it should be interesting, how this could top the last one."

Again I don't really remember a ton of the thoughts of the time, however I do remember that this experience started out with special effects (in my mind).  The first one I experienced an explosion of light, so I was sitting there waiting for thoughts or another explosion of light when instead it was like the sky opened up and poured black powder all over me.  Not explosive black powder mind you, I just remember perceiving it as solidifying, comforting, stabilizing.  The place I had chosen to lie down was right underneath this giant Ganesha Mask that we had made (and used) for a ritual with Ganesh as the Center of Attention (I was wearing the mask). I remember that a lot of my time (yesterday, not at the ritual) was a conversation about me (Everyone's favorite topic!).  Thinking back, I remember clearly that if I want something, it's OK to want it, but I need to let go of what was.   I need to let go of the not having it.  A large amount of the time (30 minutes this time) was spent letting go.  I remember at one point it felt as if the black powder had bonded to darknesses of my "soul" and was doing a storm in me, stripping it clean.  It actually kinda hurt, but in that showing with really good soap and a bristle brush kinda way.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


I had set an alarm to get up because I needed to go to a customer for an "emergency call."  Most of my experience occurred in a point between wakefulness and dreaming.  Call it lucid dreaming if you will, but the depth varied.  I felt overloaded spiritually and mentally, not in a bad way, more like I wished for $1,000,000 and a genie delivered it into my house in $1 bills.  I had what I wanted, but I was trying to make space and deal with it and suddenly my neighbor rang the doorbell and asked whether I wanted to come to our weekly poker game.  At this point I remember thinking, "I don't want to get up."

Spirit Replied, "Then don't." 

I said, "I gave my word."

Spirit Replied, "So?  What do you want to do?" (there were concepts there of "Who do you want to be" and open paths in front of me to choose)

I said, "I want to keep my word.  I can do other things later."

Spirit Replied, "As you wish." and I woke up and my mind began "clearing."  (More like someone dug a path to my front door through the money)

I got up and got ready to head out the door, but I do remember exclaiming in excitement to Misty as I woke her up to watch Ari... "I can't believe I let someone who couldn't prove positive Manifestaion in the least teach me manifestation."  

I'd always manifested by focusing on what I wanted intensely and accepting it.  This "teacher" didn't have much of anything in life and is quite unhappy, however he's confident that he knows Magic and Spirituality inside and out.  For a while I had started accepting his idea that you need to envision what you want clearly and in your control and then let it go completely.  Recently he started adding in "Wrap it in Pink Light before you let it go."

I wasn't having luck with his way and never had and yet when I thought about Manifestation instead of just doing it I ended up failing at his way instead of succeeding at mine.

I was walking out the door when my daughter called out "Daddy you forgot your laptop."   I had just thought a few minutes before that I should take it, but I reasoned that I wouldn't need it for the appointment.  For a moment, I debated telling her I had done so on purpose, but then I realized how odd it was that she said that.  She doesn't usually care if I take my laptop with me when I go.  I decided to thank her and take it with me.

I am glad Lola warned about was the emotional rollercoaster and how to just go with it.  I was driving down the road and I heard something on the radio.  I don't even remember what, but I suddenly burst out crying.  I was driving down the road sobbing hysterically, wiping snot off my face, tears streaming down my face and Screaming out in Tearful Joy "I DON'T HATE MYSELF ANYMORE!"

I hadn't thought I hated myself, but there was definitely release.  I do feel good and happy and worthy, and I'm not sure if I did before.  Everyone has moments of happiness, but I was looking to experience them outside myself.   I knew how to do things to make me happy and how to choose to feel happy, but I'm not sure that I'd just been happy for a while.  There's a difference.  It really feels like the biggest part is that I used to fill lack with tricks I'd learned, but I don't believe in the lack right now.

When I got to the area of town with the customer I realized that I hadn't made a map and didn't know where they were.  I went to call them and found that the number they had given me was their work number.   After an hour drive I had no way to find the customer...

oh wait.  LAPTOP.  I opened it up, used it to research the customers location.  I showed up at their large Mansion, after 5 minutes had their issue resolved and a promise of a check waiting at their law office the next day.

As of this sentence we've covered almost 3 hours after looking at picture two...  It was a LONG night.  I'll cover more in the next update, but I have other things I need to do now.

Power Before Wisdom

Things are Going Great in my Absence Update 3

A major component of the teachings shared here is living from and in heart and spirit.   It has been amazing what I have seen from this position. At one point she speaks of how Source/God/Goddess will speak to us as we are ready to listen and points out that we CAN have a personal relationship with a friendly, loving God with all the attributes we yearn for.   It's not a case of going to look for one of the "Premade Templates" to see which ones we like the most.  Merely accept that we can listen to Spirit as we want to.

The book is very aptly named. Manifestation has been powerful and fast lately.   She points out in the book that all we need to do is ask and feel our desire with a clear heart and spirit responds.  Utter simplicity.  Last Wednesday in a coaching session it was pointed out that I should ask for new help with my card game.   I opened up and requested it.  6 hours later I received a call from someone I asked for help a month ago.  I had assumed he had placed my request on a large pile of similar ones and ignored it.  To my amazement he said that he had spoken with Game Publishers, that they had seen the game and had even done focus group testing.  He asked for a meeting to go over some of their requests for changes.  At the meeting I learned that there are 5 interested Companies.   I learned that, because they are looking at spending $1 Million plus in Art, Editing, Print and Marketing Costs, there are some changes that they wanted.  As we went down the wish list it was amazing how perfectly it corresponded to my planned change list.   This has taken my current actions for the project in a completely different direction.   The highest priority is Beta Testing and due to connections I have 20,000 beta testers just waiting for an email with a chance to play.   Two years ago we looked into an online play version of the game and found that it would be a LOT of work to make it happen.  I followed up with the old information as this is a direction we need to research and found no movement at all.  So I felt my need and again within mere hours found a new program that is in late Beta now.  It is designed to make it simple for games like mine to be plugged in and played.   The similarity is so close that their requested data format for cards is EXACTLY how we are currently storing the card data!

My money problems have amazingly shrunk.  I have felt amazing peace that "things were going to be fine," and the universe has been taking are of it and it has.  I have had consistent work which has empowered me to pay my bills.  Just today I modified my "can I have my bills paid" request to "Could I have my bills paid and a few hundred dollars in the bank account."   Soon thereafter I had an emergency call from a client who needed about 3 hours of work done (paying for my trip to Pantheacon!).  As I was working he asked me aside and requested about $15,000 dollars worth of work!

I have also had money just drop into my lap.  From an associate who wants to bring multiple hosting clients (pure money) to literal gifts out of the blue. Additionally I have had unhealthy relationships just end or experience amazing transformations.  One of the key moments was a large argument between my girlfriend and myself where she perceived my beliefs as hurting her.  I ended up having to leave to take care of a client, but along the way I opened up and asked for help.  Within 15 minutes I just "received" understanding of certain misunderstandings I had held and she called me to apologize because she had suddenly understood how her old beliefs were hurting her and could be changed.   I am amazingly happy that I have a partner taking this journey with me!

If you notice, my step by step experiences went away.  It just became apparent that my experiences were becoming too personal, too specific to my history and my state at the time to be able to make sense writing about.   Lola warns about this on her website, saying that you shouldn't try to listen to other people's experiences to see what will happen to you.  However, hopefully by showing my before, during (as much as I can) and after over the next few months/years, this blog will help you see the changes in mind state, spirit and general life situation.  

I expect over the next few weeks I will share more of the AHA moments I experienced.  I hope it will help you determine if this is a tool you might be interested in utilizing on your personal journey!

Love,
Power Before Wisdom

 

Things are Going great in my Absence Update 1

When I started reading the book I was rather un-impressed.   There were a lot of promises, A lot of talk about how the book was only the first step and how steps 2 and 3 were hands on (which was one of the best ways to do this), warnings to not mix modalities and to stop all energy work to avoid slowdown (!WHAT I'm a MAGE teaching magic!  I can't stop?!!), Warnings to not take everything too fast and then she started talking about her divine experience.  I won't repost because it was one of those experiences that seems stupid unless spirit is involved... and clearly it was.  She repeatedly went over the method she learned to open up... it took me a while to realize she was drilling it into her readers head.  While skeptical I was open minded and fully involved in the reading.  Soon I came to a point with a warning that this was the first Divine Opening Initiation.  My first thought was again skepticism, but I had an open mind and followed instructions.  Look at the picture, absorb it and then go rest for 15+ minutes.

I followed instructions.  The picture didn't seem amazing in any way shape or form, but I opened up and attempted to Grok it.  After 2 minutes of looking at it I went and laid down to nap/rest.  

Though my reading I had been worrying about the implications of spending time focusing on Manifestation when I am still getting my MAGIC focused blog off the ground.  I was worrying about whether I was willing to risk putting a lot of effort into something (this blog) only to grow away from it.  As I laid down, it suddenly clarified that It would be OK to do magic outside me and that I could Blog about THIS experience too.  Then I started floating on thoughts of what I want, because I could have anything.  I started thinking about the wishlist and one of the things that occurred was that I wanted a fulfilling sex life and suddenly the idea just shattered.  I don't yearn for a fulfilling sex life; sure sex is fun, but I want fulfillment period.  I know there were a lot of ideas and thoughts I went over as well... Unfortunately she warned that most of your "old" life becomes very quickly forgotten and while I was working to mentally record for better details she told the truth.  I know there were things that I considered very important, but I forget them now.  Eventually I drifted off when all of a sudden it was like from my heart Chakra a white supernova went off.  A HUGE explosion of calm white light of such intensity that whether is was physical or not I was blinded for a bit.  When I became more used to it, I perceived my Etheric body as being intensely bright and white.  It was like my heart Chakra was pulsing white light to the rest of me and as I merely looked around my body, it pulsed with intensity wherever I was looking succh that that every little bit of my Etheric Body was filled with intense bright white light.  I took extra care to avoid actually moving anything with purpose deciding I would DEFINITELY follow the rules.

I remember thinking it would be a shame to lose this after the moment passed when I realized I didn't have to end.  Over the next few minutes it was like I became used to the light.  Rather than feeling like the light dimmed, I became aware of the idea that I had accepted and become used to the light.

I came out of the room and dealt with a few things that needed dealing with (dog, daughter, work) it was interesting to me how emotions were flying around.  One second I'd be joyful, another nostalgic or depressed.   I decided to read on.  During this part she actually spoke of this exact process and how we need to be fully in our emotions in order to allow them to release into higher vibration.  Considering I was still on the "light high" I found myself very intimitely following the words.  

I've lived my life promising that I would avoid regrets.   I only have a couple and one that I'm really ashamed of.  In the process of this, I experienced the shame of that experience and literally felt it climbing up from my stomach, to my heart, throat and into my head and the emotions went from shame, to accepting that I liked doing what I did, to accepting my shame of liking it... and so on.   It is a complex subject and the emotions were equally complex.

At this point I am highly impressed with this book.  I fully intend to finish the process and my wife is currently sleeping off her first "Divine Energy shot".

 

© Scott Reimers 2014